


Say You Won't

by flowercrowncurls



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Major Character Injury, Non-Graphic Violence, Non-Linear Narrative, Pining, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 10:56:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16061669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowercrowncurls/pseuds/flowercrowncurls
Summary: Theo loves Liam in every way you could possibly love another person without them knowing, and then somehow he manages to love him more.





	Say You Won't

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited, sorry.  
> Unannounced time skips.  
> Non-canon aspects.  
> Song Lyrics.  
> Ambiguous Plot Moments. 
> 
> Inspo: Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur (cover by Matt Johnson and Jaclyn Davies)

_I met you in the dark, you lit me up  
You made me feel as though I was enough_

Liam drags Theo back from hell. It's both the worst and best decision he has ever and will ever make in his entire life. Theo is manic, eyes haunted and muscles tense but Liam doesn't have time for that, brushes over all the clues that Theo's suffered because there are more important things, so many things. And it's rough. The anger, the hurt, the rage, the betrayal still stings and aches within them all - deep wounds that may never fully heal. But they are more than the mistakes they've made, and maybe, maybe Theo can be too. So Liam tries, tries to make them understand, but his voice feels thin when it escapes through his teeth, because how can you make a stand, expect someone to understand when you don't quite understand yourself. 

But Theo is there now, and Liam feels the rightness of that in his bones. Theo doesn't fight it, just stands in the corners offering his own special Theo brand of help in a way that no one really expected and yet accepts all the same. Theo is there with wisdom and knowledge that rattles them. He offers answers when no one else even half understands what the Ghost Riders are, what they want, why they won't just leave. And he's there again, with sarcastically honest words when they find themselves a little lost after Mr. Douglas has thrown their entire plane into fast forward and reverse all at the same time. 

But nothing with Theo ever comes without a price, never without a benefit for himself, because stipulations and deals are the only way Theo knows how to live and so Liam gives him what he needs to get what he needs in return. His stomach clenches as the metal shards of a sword that's not his own scatter across the ground, but it's a price he's willing to pay and he just hopes that it pays off in the end. And despite the broken pieces of the only thing potentially holding Theo in line, he stays. He stays at Liam's side, he stays in Beacon Hills, he stays on the right side of every decision he's faced with. Liam doesn't know why, but Theo stays and he fights with a sort of one track minded fierceness that Liam doesn't realize he admires until many months down the road. 

And he's there again, when everything starts to go to shit in Beacon Hills once again. When fear is rising around the town like a suffocating blanket, and kids are turning into hunters. When adults are proclaiming that murder is an option, the only option, the only truth to be followed and obeyed. When being different is persecuted with a smoking gun and bloodied hands without a second thought over innocence or justice. 

Theo never changes, not really - not at the very core of his being. He's still a sarcastic asshole more often than not, and he still pushes all the boundaries that Scott and Liam stand strongly behind, putting toes and claws and fangs over the edges and just pushing a little more each time. Theo still uses words like a wall of armor, hiding behind and protecting himself from the truth of reality. He still runs away, but never when it matters, never when it's important, and never too far away. 

Liam never falls under any sort of disillusioned state of mind in regards to the older boy. He knows who Theo was and what he did, he knows who Theo became when he was dragged back out of his own personal hell, and he sure as hell knows who Theo is now. There will always be a sort of darkness within the older boy, a sort of untouchable void that will never be filled. Liam knows it all, maybe better than most, but the point becomes that he just doesn't care. He accepts the dark and light, the good and bad, the then and the now. He knows who Theo is. 

There are no secrets the older boy can hide from him. No lie he can tell that Liam cannot read right there in all the cracks of his mask he's still desperately clinging too like a security blanket. There are no hidden agendas, no closely held master plans. 

And all that Theo is now, all the ways he's made himself be better, be more, it's enough. For Liam, it's more than enough. 

_We danced the night away_  
We drank too much  
I held your hair back when you were throwing up 

It's been months since the hospital, since Monroe ran from Beacon Hills, since Theo started to truly care, since Scott and Stiles and Lydia and Malia left town to continue forward. It's been months and it feels like years yet somehow also like nothing more than days. It's the first big party of the year and Mason's managed to concoct some sort of diluted wolfsbane to mix with the alcohol. And in all the ways it tastes like ash in their mouths, its still not bad enough that they don't drink it because the buzz of getting drunk is new and fun and normal. And they all could use a little more normal in their lives. 

Mason and Corey find themselves pleasantly buzzed, soft and sweet and wrapped around each other just like every other time they are together. Alec and Nolan are sloppy at best, falling over each other and everyone else around them as they laugh their way from one end of the house to the other, they are loud and young and free in a way that Theo hasn't seen before. Liam has barreled his way through buzzed, through tipsy, through drunk - burning through liquor like he's trying to drown himself within it. Theo frowns when Liam trips over nothing and nearly upends himself into a wall. Someone on the lacrosse team laughs, clamping him on the shoulder with a wide grin. Liam beams back, bright and alive and carefree. 

Something about the way the younger boy looks now pulls at Theo, he rubs a hand over his chest and frowns down at his drink. He chugs the drink, and then another. He wishes that he could be as openly out of control as Liam and the others allow themselves to be. With each new sip Theo tries to talk himself into letting go, slipping under. 

But there's a string holding him in place, just the right side of sober. He feels unsettled all the way to his core when his mind goes the slightest bit hazy around the edges. His limbs feel slower, clumsy, just slightly out of his control. 

He tries to keep an eye on them all, feels tense and uncomfortable even from where he is in the shadows of a dark corner back against the wall and able to see the whole room. His eyes skim over pictures of Scott through the years, Stiles scattered through, Ms. McCall here and there, Alec popping up in a few more recent snaps. He sighs, feeling suddenly a million times older than he actually is. He stares at his hands, memories leaking through all the doors he'd thought he'd locked forever. Pale fades to blood red, claws extending. He gets lost in thoughts from what feel like another lifetime ago, yet he knows it hasn't even been a year. His bones ache, feeling brittle and broken beneath the surface. 

He startles when hands wrap around his own, warm and tight and pulling him back into reality. Liam is staring up at him through too long fringe, eyes blue and liquid warm with the liquor coursing through his body. He offers a smile, something small and private, a quirk of lips that is all too honest and blasts through Theo with the strength of a million shards of glass, ripping him open and laying him bare. He struggles, drowning and floating and falling. 

"I don't feel good," Liam whispers suddenly, and Theo forces himself to focus. Watches as Liam goes a little pale, cheeks bright red and eyes suddenly unable to focus. Theo moves without thinking, hauling Liam into his arms and dashing through the room and up the stairs in a nimble sort of way that would definitely not be possible if he wasn't more than human. He muscles them into the bathroom, throwing out the pair of freshman pressed against the sink, just barely concealing a growl behind the tightness of his lips when they complain and protest the entire way out. He drops with Liam to the ground, shoving the boy over the toilet mere seconds before he starts to vomit profusely into the bowl. 

Theo rests back on his heels, hand soft in the middle of Liam's back, an anchor to hold the boy upright yet keep him pressed down at the same time. His own vision is blurry around the edges, his limbs feel slow and his tongue heavy in his mouth. He turns his face into his own shoulder, trying to drown out the scent of vomit. His other hand lifts up, runs through Liam's hair is soft strokes as he tries to offer comfort, tries to settle the boy when he can smell the salt mixing with wolfsbane and bile. 

_Then you smiled over your shoulder_  
For a minute I was stone-cold sober  
I pulled you closer to my chest  
And you asked me to stay over  
I said I already told ya  
I think that you should get some rest 

Eventually the vomiting slows, then stops. Liam leans his head against the cool porcelain and groans, a drawn out self-deprecating noise that has Theo scoffing.

"Never drinking again," Liam mumbles, voice raspy in the worst of ways. Theo rolls his eyes, because Liam can't see him but mostly because Liam is an idiot on the best of days, and today is not one of his best. 

"Sure you won't little wolf," Theo offers back, wondering if it's rude to flush the toilet while Liam's face is still basically half in it. The scent of it all is really start to permeate into the air and Theo feels his own stomach roll. He's just moving his hand away from where it's still somehow tangled in Liam's hair and reaching out for lever, having won the inner debate with himself, when Liam suddenly shoots his head up, turning to look over his shoulder. Theo startles, hand halting in mid-air and eyes wide.

Liam's stare lingers, before suddenly his mouth is splitting into a bright smile, eyes lighting up around the corners. He's still staring up directly into Theo's eyes, and Theo can do nothing but blink around all the emotions crashing around him. 

Theo counts the spaces in between each breath the younger boy takes, tries to settle himself. Liam sways, and Theo moves before he really thinks about it, curling the boy into his arms and settling him back. Liam sighs, nuzzles his head up under the curve of Theo's jaw as the older boy has an internal meltdown. 

"Wanna go home," Liam mumbles eventually, and Theo latches onto the words like a lifeline he didn't know he needed. 

"Yeah, you should rest," the words feel heavy and slurred on the tip of his tongue. His limbs clumsy as he struggles to get them both standing, moving on auto-pilot now that he's got a goal in mind. His vision swims, but he just blinks and moves faster, practically carrying Liam by the time they get to the driveway. Theo's truck is parked around the block, where he'd sat in it earlier for 30 minutes debating if he was even going to allow himself to come, allow himself to fall into the routine of normalcy. 

Liam is babbling something about Lacrosse and angles and gymnastics. Theo mostly ignores him, pulling roughly on his arm when Liam gets distracted by a pine tree swaying in the breeze. He loses the minutes in between getting Liam into his truck and getting the boy home, he blinks and suddenly they're sitting outside the Geyers house, the warmth of the porch light cascading over the green grass of their front yard. Something deep and dark and jealous curls at the base of Theo's stomach, racing up and threatening to choke all the good from within him. 

"Come in," Liam whispers in a way that rakes down Theo's spine unpleasantly, reaching across the console and running his fingers down Theo's arm, from shoulder to finger tips. His knuckles go white, hands tightening around the steering wheel. "Stay." 

It sounds equal parts like a wish and a trap. And for a brief instant Theo lets himself fall into it, lets himself wish and hope and dream of all the ways that Liam could be his. He sees a million flashes of a future he doesn't deserve play out like scenes from a movie across the back of his eyelids, before it fades into an emptiness he's always carried within the core of his being. 

And he feels everything inside him break and splinter and shatter at his feet. He feels his emotions bouncing around the confines of his truck, ripping across his skin and leaving invisible scars that will never fade. It feels like the worst kind of hell, bursting into reality and threatening to take all the good parts of life he's managed to carve out for himself. Liam could break him, Theo thinks he probably will and without ever even knowing. 

"I already told you," Theo struggles with the words, tries to wrap his mind around how to make his mouth work correctly. He breathes for a long moment, allows himself to look at Liam like this, open and free and wanting Theo near. He gives himself just another second or two longer with Liam close and warm and soft, just within reach but still a million miles away. "You need rest, Liam." 

_I knew I loved you then, but you'd never know_  
Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go  
I know I needed you, but I never showed 

There are many things Theo thinks himself capable of doing, of being. He's been able to objectively tear himself apart in front of a mirror and piece himself back together like a jigsaw puzzle, only he leaves all the dark broken pieces on the floor. He's not complete and maybe he never will be, can't really even remember a time when he was - maybe before he'd allowed himself to be tempted and manipulated, maybe before he'd willing killed his sister no matter how hurt and scared he'd been. Maybe before, but he can't really remember it so he supposes that doesn't really count for much. And now he's probably as close to good as he'll ever really manage, he spends a lot of his time hoping that will be good enough. 

He's been through hell and back, both literally and metaphorically. He knows how harsh and ugly life can be, how cruel and vicious people can be. But he's also seen so many good parts of life, of people. He's seen friendship and forgiveness, hope and dreams. He's seen enough to know that he didn't deserve a second chance but he's never going to take it for granted. 

And through it all, through everything - nothing prepared him for how loving Liam would feel. How it would feel like a thousand rays of sun burning through his flesh, yet it also feels like he's standing alone in the middle of a freezing rainstorm with no shelter to be found. How every single part of him would crave to be close, to be good, to be better, to be enough and then be more. He never learned to be cautious with his heart, never knew he needed to be. He never thought he could ever love this cluelessly, this hopelessly, this completely. Like every piece of him is no longer his own, Liam's somehow managed to just burrow his way into the middle of his chest, wrapping small fingers around a heart that is not his own and sprouting roots there. 

Loving Liam is not a thing he ever thought he could do. But he does. And now all he knows is that it is not a thing he could ever say, those words can never be made real. He can ever let anyone, especially Liam, know. It's a weakness that tears him up inside and leaves him whimpering in the middle of the night, the silence of the woods and the close confines of his truck that push in on him as nightmares come and go. It makes him reckless, and strong, and stupidly brave in the face of anything. Yet underneath it all he's still very much a coward, so he bites his tongue and holds his secrets closer. 

Theo loves Liam in every way you could possibly love another person without them knowing. He bites down on the inside of his cheek grounding himself in the sharp sting of pain and metallic taste of blood whenever Liam stands a little too close. He's long since mastered the art of control, of masking his emotions, of forcing fake chemosignals into the air around him. He doesn't think this was ever what the Dread Doctors had in mind after all those weeks, months, years of practice but they're dead now and this is the only way Theo knows how to keep on moving forward, keep on surviving. 

Liam can never know. So Theo pushes it down and never allows himself to show all those parts of him that want to love Liam entirely. 

_But I wanna stay with you, until we're grey and old  
Just say you won't let go, just say you won't let go_

Theo manages months of suppressing and repressing his feelings for Liam, it's nothing new exactly, it's just different emotions he's got to swallow down, push to the back. It's not new but somehow it's harder. It's harder because Liam's smile is sweeter around the edges than it was before and his eyes are sometimes softer when he looks across the console as Theo drives him to school for the third day in a row. Liam is stronger now, he moves with a confidence during every Lacrosse game and he stands steady when each new threat approaches Beacon Hills. 

Liam is in control of all aspects of his life. He's not a terrified kid, he's not a bumbling beta, he's not a fresh werewolf still so clueless and unsure. He's grown both smarter and braver. He's in so much control that Theo feels a bit unsure of his place now - he stuck around at first because of fear and a sense of self-preservation, which shifted to a twisted sort of worry over keeping Liam out of trouble, keeping him from stepping across that line that Theo had. He was allowed to stay because he'd proved that he could and would protect Liam, Scott's beta. And now, now it seems like Liam doesn't really need him for any of that anymore. 

Theo's come to the discomforting realization that Liam doesn't really need him for much of anything anymore. 

\---

Theo frowns as he watches Liam glare down a hunter, eyes glowing but every other part of him human and unchanged. Theo can hear the even beat of his heart and the jack rabbit stutter of the hunter's. Theo can feel the fear, it tingles over his skin like a spidery web but it's not Liam's - it's the hunter's. Theo shifts on his feet, a branch snapping beneath his feet. Liam gives him a look over his shoulder, it takes Theo a few moments to place it. Annoyance. Theo's never felt so small. 

Theo hasn't been this overwhelmed with the urge to run since back when he'd just been pulled from hell, when he could still smell nothing but death and felt nothing but fear and jumped at the smallest of noises. Back when his nightmares did more than just scare him, they haunted him whether asleep or awake. 

Theo doesn't say a word. He just stands there, protection detail even though it's becoming painful obvious Liam doesn't need that. The younger boy had caught an arrow with his bare hand that was shot out of the dark cover of the trees a few minutes before. Liam had looked so steady, so unconcerned as he'd snapped the wood between his fingers and let it fall to the forest floor. Theo would be impressed, proud even, if he wasn't feeling so lost. 

Liam is so much more than what he was before and Theo is completely unneeded now. Theo hasn't much to offer the younger boy anymore but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life at Liam's side because he does and he just hopes that he manages to get half of that with the younger boy. Regardless of how or why or what, Theo wants to keep being in Liam's world in whatever way the boy will allow him.

_I'll wake you up with breakfast in bed  
I'll bring you coffee, with a kiss on the head_

Liam some how manages to be the first werewolf in known history to get a cold. Theo finds himself completely unsurprised by the entire thing, because of course it's Liam after all. He steadfastly ignores the constant "It's some new wolfsbane strain, I'm not actually sick sick," variations Liam continues to mumble as he waits from the fresh pot of coffee to finish brewing. Theo isn't a stranger to the Geyer household anymore, probably knows it as well as the three people that actually live there. 

Theo bites the inside of his cheek swallowing down a chuckle as he rolls his eyes and stares up at the ceiling. He can hear Liam flailing around his bed, whimpering and whining softly. Maybe he'll learn now, not to run off on his own when there is threat no matter how small or insignificant he thinks it is. 

Wolfsbane poisoning is a pain, and now when there are all these new manufactured strains and mixtures it's gotten even worse. He hears the younger boy start hacking, a deep raspy sound that makes Theo wince. He's startled by the beeping from the coffee machine, he turns the machine off quickly, tuning back into Liam a floor away. He listens as the boy settles finally, breathing a little shallow but his heart beat is steady if a little slow. 

Theo waits a few long moments, sipping from a mug and listening intently. He can tell the moment Liam drifts into a restless sleep, it's only then that he finally braves the stairs. He carries a plate of food with him, setting it softly on the table beside Liam's bed. He shakes his head, sighing to himself as he pulls the sheet up and over the boy. He hesitates, shifting on his feet, before he leans down pressing a quick kiss to the side of the other's head. 

He lingers another couple seconds before forcing himself to walk away - out of the room, down the stairs and through the front door. He climbs into his truck, backs out of the driveway and forces himself not to think about Liam. It's a constant struggle, but one he's been living with for nearly a year now. 

Theo goes about his day. And when it comes hours later, he tells himself the 'thank you' text from Liam doesn't make him smile for the rest of the day or make his heart flip a little in his chest. 

_And I'll take the kids to school_  
Wave them goodbye  
And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night.  
When you looked over your shoulder  
For a minute, I forget that I'm older 

Theo can't remember when taking Liam to school sometimes last year turned into now taking Alec and Nolan to school each morning. Liam has his own car now, like to drive it, says it makes him feel like a normal, average teenager despite the fact that he isn't that at all. Theo understands it, more or less, but he doesn't like the way it makes him feel. 

Useless. 

It's a feeling he's become accustom to, but he still hates it. Still tries to make himself as valuable, as significant, as important as he can. There's something deep down in the very foundation of his being that wants to be needed, be wanted, be useful. He's long since stopped trying to fight it. And he's come to realize that helping the pack is also helping Liam. 

So he finds himself idling in front of the McCall house, Alec's semi-newfound home. The two boys are laughing and talking as they stumble through the door, Alec still looks half asleep as Nolan pulls at his arm. Theo doesn't have to honk the horn anymore, doesn't have to stomp into the house and drag them out the door. 

He doesn't have to remind Alec about his lunch Melissa left for him in the fridge each morning, and he doesn't have to force Nolan to take a few dollars from the cup holder that Theo makes sure to replenish everyday. They've developed a sort of routine, and Theo finds himself happy to be a stable part of that. To be able to offer them this normal, every day sort of situation that doesn't leave them feeling anxious or nervous or scared. 

They still greet Theo with cautious eyes but their mouths are always upturned into a smile, happy and grateful but neither is brave enough to voice it. Theo knows regardless. He's never really needed the words, he can read the both of them easily enough. 

He waves, like a proud older brother, as they bicker the entire way from the truck to the front entrance. They never talk too much to Theo during the drive, even now months later, but they both without fail turn back at the doors and raise a hand, smiles bright and laughter soft as they wave back before disappearing into the school. Theo tells himself that his chest doesn't ache. He tells himself that he is not smiling the entire way to work because of them. 

He tells himself that no one knows how much he truly cares - how he'd do anything, anything to protect those two as if they were his own. And Theo knows, even though he never says it - that all of this, all he has, all he's been given and granted and earned is because of Liam Always because of Liam. And he could never put into words just how thankful he is for everything that Liam has seen in him - the good, the bad, and all the in-betweens. 

Theo gets lost in thoughts and memories still from time to time. Forgets that it's been nearly 2 years since the day that Liam had pulled him out of his revolving nightmare and given him a chance to live his life the right way. That it's been more than a year since he realized that he would love Liam for the rest of his life. 

He still knows now, just like he had back then, that he's lucky. Lucky that Liam needed him, that Liam saw something in him that Theo didn't even see himself back then. He's lucky that Liam has such a pure and genuine soul, that his heart is nearly too big for his chest. Theo knows he's lucky, and he also knows that he'll never take any of it for granted. 

_And you look as beautiful as ever_  
And I swear that everyday you'll get better  
You make me feel this way somehow 

Liam saunters into the garage and Theo just barely manages to stop before bashing his own head into the hood of the SUV he's half hanging into. Theo's almost positive that there has never been a time that Liam hasn't taken his breath away, hasn't made him stop and just look. Even back in the beginning when Theo was striving for much different life goals, when he'd barely been able to see more than 3 feet in front of his own face. Even before he'd really looked Liam has been something to look at, to look up to. 

"What're you doin'?" Liam asks, hip knocking up against the side of the vehicle as he peers underneath the hood alongside Theo. Theo looks over at the other, watches as Liam's brow furrows and his move sets into a line, eyes looking all over and never settling. "Nevermind. I don't think I'd know even if you told me." 

Liam pulls away, back leaning against the tool bench a few feet away. He pokes at some of the tools, lifting a few he probably doesn't even know the name of. He looks up and sees Theo watching him, eyes soft and light, he winks and the older boy rolls his eyes, laughing as he dives back into the hood. He concentrates most of his attention on what he's doing, but Liam has always been a distraction. 

And now. Now that Theo is really looking at the younger boy, really seeing him in his full potential Liam is so much more than he's ever been. He's only gotten better through the years, every single day. Liam's filled out and grown into his body, knows how to move it and use it. There's scruff over the curve of his chin and a steely sort of determination to the set of his shoulders. He holds himself with confidence, with a sort of pride he'd been lacking years ago. Liam makes himself known in a room but he never makes himself too big - never takes up too much space or makes those around him feel caged, trapped. 

He's just the right sort of beautiful - tragic, empowered, flawed. 

_I'm so in love with you_  
And I hope you know  
Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold  
We've come so far my dear, look how we've grown 

Theo has enjoyed watching the other boy grow and flourish into what he is now, who he is now. And every day, somehow, Theo only loves the boy more. Sometimes so much so that he feels overwhelmed and consumed with his own emotions. He's gotten used to them, they feel much more settled within him than they did in the beginning. 

And though Liam still stops him in his tracks at times, leaves him breathless and speechless, he manages much better now. He feels comfortable and secure in his own emotions, still very much hidden in the depth of his chest and the far corners of his mind. 

Theo watches as Liam wrestles with Alec, skipping and diving out of the younger boy's reach. Liam is laughing, Alec's face contorted in concentration as he leaps at Liam again only to nearly face plant into the grass yet again. Theo shakes his head, jumping when a hand curls over his shoulder. 

"Sorry," Corey offers, mouth soft with a smile that reaches his eyes. Theo ducks his chin into his chest, fights against the heat across his cheeks. Liam laughs loudly and Theo's eyes dart up before he can help himself, he smiles when he sees the two boys sprawled out in the grass and dirt. 

He curls in on himself again when Corey hums softly, "What?"

"Still?" Is all that Corey says and Theo would be lying if he said he didn't know exactly what the other meant by the one seemingly harmless word. 

"Yeah," Theo sighs, looking up at the other chimera. There's no point in lying, Corey's always known. Sometimes Theo thinks that Corey knew even before he'd realized himself. His eyes drift towards Liam again, still laughing softly as he untangles himself from Alec and pulls the two of them to their feet "Yeah." 

_I wanna live with you, even when we're ghosts_  
Cause you were always there for me, when I needed you most.  
I'm gonna love you till, my lungs give out  
I promise 'til death we part, like in our vows 

Liam crashes into Deaton's office, door rattling as it slams behind him. His eyes are unfocused, heart beating unsteady in his chest, breathing ragged as he trips over nothing. He growls, eyes flashing, when a hang wraps around his wrist but when he sees Alec's eyes flashing back he settles, slightly. 

"What.. where," Liam forces the words out, letters and syllables getting stuck between his teeth. He breathes, in and out, in and out, and tries again. "What happened?" 

"I'm sorry," Alec whispers, fingers tightening around his wrist for a moment before they slip away. Liam shakes his head. He pushes past the other, jumping over the half wall and shoving into the back room. It takes him by surprised, the emotions in the air strong enough that he can almost taste it. 

Pain. Anguish. Fear. Regret. Stress. 

Liam stops, shakes his head and tries to push past it, brush it aside. He starts forward again, the rest of his senses coming into play. He can hear the ragged pained breathing, the intermittent screams, soft gentle murmurs and the clink of metal. There's the underlying smell of chemicals and cleaning supplies, overpowered by blood and burning and something citric. 

"Liam," Mason's voice is soft, cautious as he settles himself up close to Liam. Their shoulders are brushing softly and it's enough to ground Liam, he blinks slowly and looks to his best friend. His mind a tidal wave of uncontrollable thoughts. 

"What happened?" 

"He saved Alec," Mason offers, like that's all there is to it, like it's enough. Liam figures that ultimately it is. There's another scream, a curse and loud banging. "You should -" 

Liam nods, sets his shoulders and pulls his face into a neutral position, and then steps up the operating table. Corey is laid out across Theo's stomach, pressing down and murmuring softly to the other. Theo is thrashing around, eyes closed tightly, mouth open in a currently silent scream. Deaton has tubing and lines going into veins, a needle pulling blood directly from a wound that spans from Theo's neck, over the curve of shoulder and down across his collarbone. 

It's still bleeding, black and yellow and purple around the edges. Lines of all three colors spreading out from all sides. 

"Help," Corey turns to Liam, eyes tight and wet. His mouth is curled down into a frown, jaw tight from clenching his teeth together as Theo bucks up from the table. "Please." 

Liam rushes forward, hands feeling clumsy as he presses across Theo and pushes down. There are a million words flashing through his mind, a thousand things he wants to say, but nothing comes forward. He bites his tongue and holds on. 

It feels like hours until Theo finally settles, Deaton injecting him with enough sedative and producing a constant drip as Theo's body just continues to burn through it. Corey sighs, shifts back and slumps down into a chair. Deaton paces away to bend over a table and plethora of samples and vials spread out in front of him. Liam can hear Mason shuffle to Corey's side, can hear Nolan whispering softly to Alec out in the Lobby. 

It feels like days when Theo finally opens his eyes, heart beat picking up slightly as he shifts. Liam scrambles forward, presses a shaking palm over Theo's ribs. 

"Stay still," Liam coaxes, Theo settles back against the metal and stares up at the ceiling. "How do you feel?" 

"I can't feel anything," Theo finally says after a few long moments. 

"What?" Liam leans over the other, forcing Theo to look directly at him. Theo blinks slowly. 

"I can't feel anything Liam." 

"That - I don't," Liam looks up, around the room. Corey and Mason are both asleep in the corner, Deaton left a while ago in search of something. Liam had asked Melissa to come get Alec and Nolan a few hours ago. 

"I'm sorry," Theo says suddenly. Liam shakes his head, coos softly, running fingers through Theo's hair. 

"Shh. Just rest. Deaton will be back soon, you'll be fine." Liam forces the words more for himself than Theo, because he needs to hear them, needs to believe them. Liam drops his head against Theo's arm, "you'll be fine." 

Theo falls silent and Liam thinks he's fallen back asleep. 

"Is Alec okay?" Theo asks, startling Liam. 

"Yes." 

"Tell him - Don't let him blame himself." Theo says, voice even and steady - accepting. It's the last thing Liam wants to hear, he lifts his head staring at the older boy. 

"No." 

"I'd do it again, over and over. Even knowing. It was my choice," Theo continues. 

"Theo stop," Liam's voice cracks. 

"You can't let him blame himself. Or let him get too angry. Don't let him feel alone. Don't let Nolan go hungry. Don't let Corey hurt, let him know-" 

"Stop it," Liam chokes, fingers curling tighter into Theo's hair and pulling softly. Theo's head tilts, but his face remains neutral. 

"Let him know he's the best friend I could have ever hoped for." 

"You can tell him yourself." 

"Tell Mason to keep watching your back. And you keep watching his. He's so much more than so many people. He's the best of us all." 

"I know! You can -" 

"Liam." 

"You're fine!" 

"I can't feel anything. But it's okay," Theo coughs then, heart beat speeding up suddenly. "I will," Theo turns his head then, staring straight at Liam and the younger boy knows that he is completely unprepared for whatever Theo is going to say next. 

"STOP!" 

"I will love you until my forever ends," Theo whispers, eyes bright and steady as he stares at Liam. Theo gasps, struggles with breathing, chokes on air and nothing, "until my lungs give out." Theo rasps a sound that Liam assumes is supposed to be a chuckle, but there is absolutely nothing humorous or entertaining about this situation at all. 

Liam wants to hug and punch Theo. He wants to yell and scream, feels like he could tear down the walls of the entire clinic with his bare hands. He feels helpless and hopeless and overwhelmed. 

" **SHUT UP!** " Liam yells, trying to pull forth whatever rage he can because without it he knows he'll start to drown in the emotions. All those dark thoughts about life without Theo. 

Corey and Mason startled awake, blinking around the room and standing suddenly when they hear Theo speaking. 

"I've always loved you." Theo chokes on the words, breath stuttering as he gasps and struggles to breathe in. 

Corey steps closer, Mason pulling at his hand, but he just brings the other with him until they're up against the table. Corey reaches out, curls his free hand around Theo's, squeezing tightly. His head drops, when Theo doesn't react, chin knocking against his chest as his breath stutters. 

"SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP!" Liam yells, pulling his hands back against his chest and then reaching forward to smack at Theo, bringing his hands down sharply against bare skin. 

"Liam! Stop," Mason calls, hands scrambling across the table to grab at Liam's flailing arms. 

"Its okay," Theo whispers, words drawn out as he tries to breathe around them. "I can't feel it." 

Liam stops, entire body going still. Mason and Corey stare at Theo, the older boy staring up at the ceiling once again. 

"I can - Scott can -"

"He'll never make it in time," Corey says, ignoring the way Liam glares at him, eyes flashing gold. 

"I'm okay," Theo finally says after longing dragging moments of silence. "I've already gotten so many chances." 

"Shut up!" Liam snaps. "You aren't dying!" Liam is startled by his own words, suddenly the reality of the situation baring down on him like a million tons. Theo laughs then, a gurgled raspy sort of sound that has Liam's heart breaking. 

"But I am." 

"I won't let go." Liam counters, hands reaching for his phone. He's going to call in every miracle he's owed, every favor. He's going to pray to whoever will listen, wish on every star and good deed he's done. 

Theo laughs. But Liam's never been this determined before. 

_So I wrote this song for you_  
Now everybody knows, that its just you and me  
Until we're grey and old  
Just say you won't let go, just say you won't let go 

Liam lifts the glass, pressing it to lips not his own and ignoring the eyes that glare at him. A hand is lifting to grab the glass and rip it from Liam's grasp. Liam shrugs and turns his attention to the plate sitting on the table between them. 

"I'm not an invalid," Theo growls, drinking from his glass angrily. It's the same sentence he's been throwing at Liam for the past 8 months. Liam's eyes drop to Theo's neck staring at the visible darkened skin there that Liam knows dips down over shoulder and collarbone, down bicep and over shoulder blade. He stares at the hand sitting uselessly in Theo's lap, unmovable. 

"I know," Liam chirps, voice light and mouth curled into a smile that's only partially forced. He watches as Theo rolls his eyes, dropping his glass to the table and grabbing for the fork with his good hand. "You're just a baby." 

"Liam I swear to -" Theo's voice dips. Liam laughs brightly, leaning forward to press his mouth against the older boys effectively shutting him up. 

"You're an atheist, you aren't swearing to anything." 

"I'm going to -" Theo's words stutter to a stop, Liam frowns and looks down at the table. He knows what the words would have been, knows where Theo's mind is going now. Liam swallows around the darkness crawling up his throat, bites at all the bitter angry words, shoves away all the clouded hazy thoughts. He fights back the rage, terror still as strong as it had been 8 months ago. 

Each day, each hour, each minute, each second is a gift. Time is not guaranteed. They might be running on borrowed time, but Theo is no stranger to that so they just keep running. Where ever, when ever - they'll never really be ready but for whatever time they've got they will be thankful. 

"love me until your forever ends." Liam offers, voice steady when he speaks. 

Theo nods, "Yeah." 

Liam smiles, ruffles Theo's overgrown hair and heads towards the kitchen to get his own plate of food. On his way back he stills in the doorway, watching as Theo eats. It's such a normal thing, but Liam chest aches.

"Theo," Theo looks up as Liam calls to him, fork halfway to his mouth. He blinks slowly and Liam fights against a smile that threatens to stretch across his mouth. "I won't let go." 

Theo smiles, he's flashing bright blue. Liam laughs, eyes flashing gold in return.


End file.
